Overwatch: McCree's Tall Tails
by K4N3 the R34P3R
Summary: It's Exactly what sounds like I will make more as I come with them, please enjoy chapter One A standoff with death. now extended. please give it a try.
1. A standoff with death

_**Ok so umm thanks too wingless angel for the support and ideas but I ship 76Mercy but I have to respect all of the obvious stuff between her and Genji. The idea of him dying I personally think he will make it until him and Reaper work together to save everyone. Then there will be a bad-ass final stand Alamo style. That's how I see him going out. Not in an alley against a street gang.**_

 _ **I did like an idea I'm going to be using in this short so here it is.**_

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Chapter one_ Stand off with death

 _Reaper. He was here, In Dorado. Why didn't I ever get a day to myself where I could smoke a Cuban and have a few drinks? Even on Christmas, the birthday of Jesus Christ I got in a fight with Sombra. I can't even take a train ride without people ruining it for me. Right back to the story…_

 _So there I was in a standoff between Reaper and I. There were two hundred Talon agents… No they were two thousand! And all of them had me in their sights. So I drained my glass of 'El Amor del Diablo' and drew my peacemaker. As I drew I unloaded all six bullets each one killing ten Talon agents no Twenty! All in flash too fast for them to see then I dropped my flash bang and dove for cover. In the face of overwhelming power your average man would be driven by fear and lash out. But I Jesse McCree was fearless. I reloaded my peacemaker and tore through another sixty men this time only using three bullets._

Tracer interrupted stopping him "You goat-faced liar-" McCree hushed her. "Calm down little missy, McCree will never overstate his already vast Greatness." McCree continued with his 'story'.

 _They tried to shoot me dead they did, but I was too quick for them. I ran through the back of the saloon and ran next door to the undertaker. He was nailing a coffin shut with one of my assalent's bodies still warm inside. He asked me how many coffins he would need, and I said "two thousand" he looked at me like I was preaching the gospel backwards. He said. "You don't stand a chance against that many" I said. "Maybe you're right but I will not go back to my mama and tell her I ran away."_

Hanzo stopped him "Wait, why were you at a bar for Christmas instead of being with your mother?" Genji rose his hand saying "I would like to know how you outran almost two thousand people shooting at you, and how you killed 10 people with one bullet six times in a row, and did you stop to count?"

This was raising all sorts of questions. McCree hushed all of them, Drew his peacemaker and gestured to ten McDonalds toys of Tracer lined up along the coffee table he pointed his gun at the first one's head at point blank range and fired. The bullet blew through its first target and it reflected off of the bullet proof glass that made up the tabletop and destroyed its other nine targets. McCree holstered his gun asking. "Any further questions?" The room was silent. McCree continued his story.

T _here I was in the undertaker's place of business, I reloaded my pistol and kicked the door open. I Yelled "Who wants a piece of me?"_ _all six thousand of them, I lit a cigar and a stick o dynamite took a puff and threw it at Reaper. He kicked it behind him onto the a water tower with out even realizing it. that water tower exploded and wiped the street clean of Talon, except for Reaper, he had went wraith mode and put a gun up to my head. he asked me If I was feeling lucky. I said. " I was born lucky."_

76 stopped him. "What the heck are you even talking about?" McCree shrugged. "My famous duel with death himself, that lives in legend." 76 just asked "So what happened next?" McCree cleared his throat.

 _I said I was born lucky. Then I put my peacemaker to his throat and said " are you feeling lucky, cause I don't play fair" at our feet were five more sticks of dynamite and i had just lit them by dropping my cigar. he said he didn't play fair either. he went wraith mode and took off through the street and into the post office. I picked up the bundle of dynamite and threw it in the door after him, and right before the doors closed I shot the dynamite and the post office went up in flames. Moments later I was surrounded by Talon agents. I pulled my peacemaker and I lit up the night sky taking only one bullet for 37 of them. then I got on my horse and rode off into the sunset._

 _The End_

Tracer was the first to speak. "You don't have a horse" the second was . "you're so cool" Hanzo got up asking. "Were did you get the dynamite ?" Genji wasn't convinced either. he put a sword to the cowboy's throat. "You did not kill 37 people with one bullet." McCree put his hands up "ok it took four calm down." 76 pulled Genji away. "The whole story is a lie" McCree looked hurt "I did not lie, I met up with Junkrat and Roadhog that night and lassoed a tornado the next morning ask em they'll tell you every word is true." Junkrat nodded furiously.

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 _ **Thank you all for reading!**_

 _ **Another shout out to wingless angel for the story idea I hope you like what I did with it. If you see any spelling or grammar gone wrong please know I wrote this in less than an hour.**_


	2. Magnificent McCree

Ok I got two positive reviews for my first McCree one shot. That was a while ago, but I'm back making content.

Disclaimer: this is an obvious spoof I don't own anything.

McCree's tail tales

#2_Magnificent McCree

"So there I was in a small mining town on the brink of destruction thanks to the greedy Talon mining company." spoke up. "There's no such thing as-"Jessie silenced his disruptive listener with a finger. "The townspeople called for me in there hour of need and offered all they had to stop their suffering. So I drove out the sheriff holding them hostage and told him if his masters wanted to harm these people they'd have to kill me to do it. He returned with twenty men three days later. He looked at me and Said "It's time for you to go" so I said "If you want me to leave I'm going out in a coffin" he left in less than an hour with three men and a missing trigger finger."

"He came back another three days later with fifty men."

He said "today is the day you die." I smiled back at him saying "I was about to say the same thing to your men here." Quick as a flash of lighting I drew my pistol and six of his men were dead. I took cover and reloaded. Aiming for my next targets I said "Anyone who leaves now I will not pursue," Of course forty-five to one had a certain appeal to them, so did the gold on my head. Quick as a flash six more were dead. I walked through a cloud of dust and ended another six men's lives. From the saloon I called out "anyone who leaves now is sure to live." Of course thirty-three to one had a certain appeal and so did the gold on my head.

Five men and the former sheriff left that day. When they ran they heard me say "if you come back dear sheriff, here is where you'll lay to rest" I stopped my foot, their minds assumed the rest.

Five days later the sheriff did not return but on the horizon just before noon, I saw one hundred men riding towards the town I swore to protect.

Out to greet me was a man of massive stature. His dark face painted with white stripes his metal arm gleamed in the sun. He said to me "Gunslinger why fight my strength and wealth? You cannot hope to best one hundred men."

I lit my cigar smiling to myself and drew a long breath. After a puff of smoke I sighed and answered him. "Because I was raised by my mama knowing that a hero always wins, so that's what I plan to be." Then I said, "I've been merciful until now, but know that all who face me will not live." Its too bad that one hundred and one to one had such an appeal and so did the gold on my head."

He laughed at me and I laughed back at him dropping my cigar. The oils at my feet lit and spread to the field his men were in in a matter of minutes his little army of one hundred of one was but 36 and himself.

I watched them burn with a look of glee, my thirty-seven opponents approached me with an aura of extreme caution, the feats they had heard from my past endeavors flickered like candles in the back of their minds. Knowing this I called out them "Those who leave now I will not pursue but if our paths ever cross again I will butcher you with extreme prejudice." That statement alone consolidated the fear in some who turned in ran. Some of those who stayed looked me in the eye and saw madness, they collapsed in front of me. The numbers then were 20 to one now that number was no longer appealing to them, but they knew by this time that my head was worth a king's ransom. The allure of gold brought them ever closer to me. One by one they fell until only the dark man stood. Neither of us said a word. He dropped his gun and walked away, his body intact, if not his pride. He never felt the six rounds that burrowed into the back of his skull.

THE END.


End file.
